Final Thoughts

Oh, woeful day! More than 72 hours have passed since we have last laid eyes on the meat and the maggots. With no leads, and nighttime temperatures below freezing, we fear there is little hope of a successful recovery. And so today, we bring our project to a close.

It will be a memory we'll carry with us for the rest of our lives, ladies and gentlemen. We shall forever cherish the day we went shopping, carefully hand-picking the perfect specimens. They were so pure and innocent! We will always recall the delightful victory on Day 10, when our adversaries finally broke down and pleaded for help. Never shall we forget the rise of the mighty Ant Empire, and its mysterious demise that continues to perplex us. And we will endlessly reminisce about the eventual triumph of the Maggot, a creature with the unique ability to amplify the stench of any and all rotting material.

The two of us made one final trip below the Wren Bridge today--the meat's hiding place which we had so carefully kept secret. The empty Hefty Serve 'n Store plate has disappeared, swept away by the wind, no doubt.

After sharing a moment of silence, we super-glued this sign to the concrete base of the bridge. It is our hope that it will remain there for quite some time, a lasting tribute to an unforgettable experiment.

In retrospect, we are pleasantly surprised the meat hadn't been removed sooner. This bridge is the only point of entry into Wren Hall, which is home to 150 students. In the height of its stench, the meat could easily be smelled from atop the bridge, depending on wind conditions.

150 students passing by multiple times a day, yet for 12 days not one of them called Facilities. For any Wren resident who experienced firsthand the meat's God-forsaken stench and the feeling of impending doom that accompanies it: we thank you for being strong, shaking it off, and casually going about your day.

We would also like to thank our dear rivals-in-prankdom, whose bathroom we so enjoyably stinkified for the first ten days of this project. If not for your inability to keep your living space clean, you'd have surely discovered the meat days earlier!

Last but most important of all, we would like to thank our faithful fan base. Your ever-amusing comments, suggestions, and criticisms contributed enormously to the entertainment value of this blog. You guys are the best!

Tragic it is that the meat vanished at such a pivotal moment. The maggots had so much potential! But then again, anyone who read the original Stinkymeat project already knew what was going to happen anyway! Although it took 20 days, the emergence of maggots meant that our meat had finally begun to follow the course of Mahlon Smith's experiment. So go back to his, read it and laugh once more for old time sake. We know we will.

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
~Dr. Seuss